4 steps in building strong and secure relationships through mindful listening

Building strong relationships takes time and effort, but it’s ultimately worthwhile to cultivate those who care and who you can rely on. It is also the connection that brings you joy and fulfillment. So, the next time you are across the table, side by side or connected remotely, take a moment to listen to their words, notice their expression (if you can) and let your attention show them you care. You will be surprised at the difference this makes.

In combination, listening and caring forms the foundation of a strong, healthy relationship. Hearing and supporting the people in your life communicate, trust, respect, and understanding. Whether navigating romantic relationships, friendships, or professional connections, trust, respect and understanding create meaningful and fulfilling relationships that last a lifetime.

Listening and caring means giving your full attention and making a genuine effort to understand your partner’s thoughts and feelings. It involves putting aside your agenda and hearing what the other person says.

Step 1: Be Mindful And Attentive

Remove the phone and other distractions, engage your body by leaning forward, make eye contact, and have an ears-open curious attitude.

Mindful listening is an essential skill to improve communication and build stronger relationships. By focusing on the person speaking, you show them you value their thoughts and feelings. And by being fully present, you can better understand their perspective and respond in a more meaningful way.

One of the keys to mindful listening is to let go of the need to offer your opinions or advice. Instead focus on understanding the other person’s point of view through active listening, asking questions that clarify meaning, and reflecting on what you’ve heard to ensure you’re on the same page.

Another important aspect of mindful listening is being aware of your thoughts and feelings as you listen. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your attention back to the speaker and their words. If you feel yourself getting defensive or judgemental, take a deep breath and remind yourself to stay open to their perspective.

Ultimately, mindful listening is about building deeper connections with the people around you. By being fully present and attentive, you create a safe and supportive space for others to share their thoughts and feelings. And when you respond with empathy and understanding, you strengthen relationships and build greater trust and respect.

Step 2: Approach Dialogue From The Other Person’s Perspective

Dialogue that promotes your views and disregards those of your significant other devalues the relationship.

Effective communication is not just about expressing your views and opinions, but also about actively listening to the perspectives of others. In a conversation with your significant other, accept that your different experiences, beliefs, and values have shaped you and they have an equal right to an opinion, beliefs or values different from yours.

This acceptance of the other as an equal is vital to connection building. By accepting the other and letting go of the need to be right, you are open to the possibility of learning something new and gaining a deeper understanding of your partner.

One way to approach a conversation is to ask open-ended questions that encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings. By actively listening and reflecting on what they say, you show you value their perspective and are willing to consider their point of view. Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and effective communication.

Step 3: Be Collaborative

There are times when a couple needs a resolution. Equally important to your point of view is your partner’s thoughts, emotions, and perspective.

In any relationship, conflict is inevitable, and the best solutions don’t favour any one person but negotiate a solution best for both. This starts with active listening, an invitation to collaborate and a resolution to work towards a common goal. Working together may include a pros and cons list but be open-minded and supportive of the process as the relationship is more valuable than the solutions to the conflict.

Your openness and support of your significant other’s point of view as well as your decision to assert your point of view sends the right message.

More important than who is right is your support of the chosen plan of action.

Step 4: Avoid Trying To Strategize Your Reply

Catch your mind wandering while the other person speaks.

It’s easy to let your mind wander, get caught up in your thoughts and find you haven’t heard a word or know the main points of what was spoken. This is when you redirect your focus, return to being present and immerse yourself in their words, tone, and inflection

Your effort will be rewarded by new learning, the valuable insight you gain and the connection to a special someone.